You must be thinking that you’re on some sort of hit list of mine, because not only did I send you a letter over Christmas, but now I am also sending you one for New Year! However, what really happened is that I came across your e-mail of last year, and I read it again and was almost as affected by it this morning as I was then. In fact, reading it a year ago, was emotionally difficult for me, as it brought back, in a rush, so many fine memories, that I could not read it a second time, but actually had to leave it alone. Silly!
This is what happens, I suppose when you turn 60, and all your friends, or certainly the people who understand you, are no longer around. But to get back to your e-mail of last year: I remember your dogs vividly; in fact, the first ones were a golden retriever and a smaller black type of spaniel (a real difficult little bitch!). I knew then already how much the dogs meant to you and I can only imagine how strong that bond became over the years, so that the loss of these companions would be almost equal to the loss of the child. Worst thing is, you can never replace them, but the sensible thing is to in fact to do so.
You spoke of the golden couples, but what you do not appreciate is that you two were also such a golden couple, just as M and E were. So you will forgive me when I think back on those days, and I'm fiercely reminded of the lyrics of an old Billy Joel song (I am enclosing the full song as I'm not sure whether you actually know the song, or remember it from the 70s):
Billy Joel - Scenes From An Italian Restaurant
A bottle of white, a bottle of red
Perhaps a bottle of rose instead
We'll get a table near the street
In our old familiar place
You and I--face to face
A bottle of red, a bottle of white
It all depends on your appetite
I'll meet you any time you want
In our Italian Restaurant.
Things are okay with me these days
Got a good job, got a good office
Got a new wife, got a new life
And the family's fine
We lost touch long ago
You lost weight
I did not know
You could ever look so good after
So much time.
I remember those days hanging out
At the village green
Engineer boots, leather jackets
And tight blue jeans
Drop a dime in the box play the
Song about New Orleans
Cold beer, hot lights
My sweet romantic teenage nights
Brenda and Eddie were the popular steadies
And the king and the queen of the prom
Riding around with the car top down and the radio on
Nobody looked any finer
Or was more of a hit at the Parkway Diner
We never knew we could want more than that out of life
Surely Brenda and Eddie would always know how to survive.
Brenda and Eddie were still going steady in the summer of '75
When they decided the marriage would be at the end of July
Everyone said they were crazy
"Brenda you know you're much too lazy
Eddie could never afford to live that kind of life."
But there we were wavin' Brenda and Eddie goodbye.
They got an apartment with deep pile carpet
And a couple of paintings from Sears
A big waterbed that they bought with the bread
They had saved for a couple of years
They started to fight when the money got tight
And they just didn't count on the tears.
They lived for a while in a very nice style
But it's always the same in the end
They got a divorce as a matter of course
And they parted the closest of friends
Then the king and the queen went back to the green
But you can never go back there again.
Brenda and Eddie had had it already
By the summer of '75
From the high to the low
To the end of the show
For the rest of their lives
They couldn't go back to the greasers
The best they could do was pick up the pieces
We always knew they would both find a way to get by
That's all I heard about Brenda and Eddie
Can't tell you more than I told you already
And here we are wavin' Brenda and Eddie goodbye.
A bottle of red, and bottle of white
Whatever kind of mood you're in tonight
I'll meet you anytime you want
In our Italian Restaurant.
So, the golden ones lived beautifully, and everybody loved to be around them, but their beauty was unstable, and ultimately self-imploding, only those with a stable centre survived, most perished, taken by the force of this golden hues (I often think of C, committing suicide and M driving off the cliffs of Rooiels, into the welcoming waves).
I know that we men are not supposed to say such things, but what the hell, I'm 60 years old and can't be bothered too much anymore with the social niceties- too many people have died without having heard the things which they could or should have heard, so I wanted to tell you that of the few friends that I have/had you are the one which I possibly always held dearest. I think this was because we had such a similar sense of humour and background, we were not true blue or pure specimens of our tribe, but cross-pollinated - and then there was your loyalty and integrity, a big deal to me. And, like me, although you seemed so confident on the outside, there was always a bit of the uncertainty and vulnerability, visible to those who would care to look.
Anyway, voordat ek te moffierig begin te klink, I also wanted to ask whether you have remained a good friend to P? I have been in touch with him quite regularly, also on Facebook, and I think that he's the sort of person who would appreciate your continued friendship, despite it possibly being professionally incorrect for you to do so. I must tell you that I have the highest possible regard and respect that one could have for any lawyer, for PH, for it was his understanding of the essence of justice, for what is right in the law, his integrity, and most of all his courage, in sticking by his principles in the face of the mockery and desertion of his so-called brothers at the Bar, those who for professional expediency sake, abandoned him. You must remember that I have personal experience of this type of professional banishment, and excommunication. He continued to hold up the mirror for all those around him to see, but everyone was too intimidated and scared of the ANC and the new powers to be. Astonishing that the same people who marched and fought and wrote against the oppression and domination of the National Party, could all sit still and remain silent under similar oppression by the ANC, and worse, an oppression that is done in such a ham-fisted, obvious and village-idiot manner. What is it with all the Liberals in South Africa, are they too busy making money to care about their principles or their future? Where are the Helen Suzmans today? Or are they all intimidated by now, so much that none will rise up and speak?! Yet, in his small way, PH, just a typical Rooinek from the Cape, did - and for that he has my admiration. I don't hear of any Afrikaners doing anything similar, but that does not surprise me, by now I have learnt to accept that Afrikaners are great opportunists, with their desire for money and social acceptance far outweighing any uncomfortable moral considerations.
'n Plasie in die Bosveld? I would like to do that, together with one or two friends so that there was not only the joy and the benefits of the bush but that one could do it in the company of true friends. In fact, this is the only part of Africa that I do miss, and perhaps the Klein Karoo, but there I already have a small interest in the family's farm in Calitzdorp. Either way, we have a timeshare in Umzumbe Chalets on the Natal south coast, from 14 Aug to 1 Sep every year, and I know that this is not holiday time for you both, but should you be interested in using it when we are not, (or joining us at the same time - maybe a short side trip to Hluhluwe?!) you are welcome to do so.
You may have gathered from our Christmas letter that our renovations are going very well so that by June/July next year when you come to visit us, your room will be waiting for you, in perfect order. We will spend a bit of time in Belgium, then go to Holland, down to the western part of Germany, into France via the Alsace and Burgundy, then to Paris and back to Belgium.
So, get a new dog, (I almost also added: get a new life!) get us a small farm in the Bosveld, get your house finished, liquidate your assets for easy travel, (I even spoke to a friend of mine, who was a member of the Johannesburg Bar, who practices in Mechelen, about you, and there are some, albeit small, possibilities available, and with J's training and experience I think there are many larger opportunities for her in Brussels, but most importantly, come on an exploratory visit next summer!
I hope that by the time you have finished reading this letter you will not be too depressed, as I suppose it was not a particularly cheerful one! Maar dit was ook 'n bietjie nostalgies (speaking of Billy Joel, do you remember the song: 'Saigon'? It always represented the Vietnam War and the late 60s so utterly well for me!).
I hope you and J continue with the great success which you have made of your lives!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HoJfwf0xdNg&feature=related
"Eens het ons 'n land gehad in Afrika, met 'n kloppende hart, eens het die riviere in ons gevloei en was die bosveldse sonsondergange mooi in ons oë te sien. Nou sit ons in koue, verre plekke, met alleen die wind as ons maat en verre blikke wat probeer om tot daar, daar ver, tot in ons jeug terug te kyk.Maar ek weet dat my verlanges my tog darem 'n bietjie warm sal hou.
Was daar ooit 'n meer tiperende Afrikaanse lied gewees dan hierdie een?